This post contains affiliate links, please see my disclaimer for more information. Lauren is an independent team beachbody coach who co-runs The Girl Squad on the BOD app.

Eight strategies to help you finally call and make the medical appointments you know you need but are terrified of making because of fear of bad news from the doctor or general health anxiety.

I avoided getting my hearing tested for at least five years after I should have gone for a baseline test due to a family history of genetic hearing loss.

Here are the eight strategies I used to help myself make an appointment with the Audiologist (and go) even though I was terrified of what the results of the visit would mean and wanted to continue to avoid it.

The Eight Strategies to combat general health anxiety and fear of bad news from the doctor

Be curious about why this appointment is triggering you
Find a gentle, neutral friend
Decide on a reward
Go for the easy road
Create space around the appointment
Notify your family members that it might be a high emotion day
Lean in to your emotions and protect your emotional self
Have a follow up plan

#1 Be curious about why this appointment is triggering you

There are these things called emotions that no one tells us about and they influence absolutely everything.

There are a million reasons why you haven’t made the doctor appointment you know you absolutely need to make, but the only reasons that matter are how you feel about making that appointment.

The absolute best thing you can do is become curious about what’s stopping you on the inside.

It isn’t about not having time or not knowing what to do or who to call — those things will take ten minutes on google.

Let’s be real girlfriend, what’s stopping you have absolutely everything to do with what you are afraid the doctor will tell you or what going to that appointment is going to require of you either physically, mentally, emotionally or let’s be honest: all three.

Getting curious about what is emotionally triggering about this appointment or concern/condition is what is going to help you get to the next step and ultimately take action.

Why are you afraid to call? Is it because of something that has happened medically in the past?

Are you afraid of what the doctor will say or how they will behave (bedside manner isn’t always their strengths)?

Is it the actual test you’re worried about under-going?

What about this experience are you most terrified of or want to avoid the most?

Start there — lean in to the discomfort and hold it like you’re craddling a scared kitten you found on the side of the road.

It’s okay to be gentle with yourself right now, because chances are: the reason you’re scared of something is because of what it’ll mean for future you, but you’re not future you right now — you’re current you, and current you needs to hold your current fears with compassion and curiosity.

#2 Find a gentle, neutral friend

We don’t come into this world alone, someone carries us for over 9 months in their belly, close to their heart. Regardless of what happens after, we can take solace in the fact that we were never meant to do hard things in this life alone, from second one on.

That includes making tough medical appointments.

We all need a good, sweet, gentle friend who is willing to hold us accountable to the things that are good for us, but also be compassionate when we say this thing we know we need to do is emotionally exhausting and going to take a lot from our soul to tackle.

Be honest with them. Text them or call them and ask, “hey would you be willing to be my person on this?”

Let them know that doing this thing (making this medical appointment) is something you’ve been avoiding and you need someone to help you do it.

I personally like if this person is one degree removed from your immediate family. A husband, mom, dad, brother/sister are amazing people to help you in a lot of things in life, but in my personal experience I realized that they were too close to help me on medical situations I was avoiding.

Often I realized they were part of the reason I was avoiding making the appointment in the first place. I subconsciously wanted to avoid hurting them with potentially bad news or would go to a dark place about “what a bad test result would mean for my relationship with my husband,” etc.

A gentle friend who you don’t consistently dream of spending the rest of your life with is a better choice.

My friend was Katlin and we picked a date 6 weeks from that day after which I would have an appointment scheduled. I gave myself PLENTY of time and space to do this so it didn’t feel quite as heavy.

We also created an inside joke on what we would call my appointment, I honestly can’t remember what we even decided on now — but having a shared language about a hard thing that didn’t use a triggering word like “hearing appointment,” for me was huge.

It also made it feel like Katlin and I were in it together, having a shared experience, even though mostly it was on me to do the “heavy lifting,” of making the appointment, going to the appointment, and living with the next steps/results.

#3 Decide on a reward

Good behavior needs to be rewarded.

We often think of this in terms of other people, but it is equally important that we do it with ourselves as well.

A reward can be anything: a cute outfit, a date night, a spa day or a float session, a food treat, etc.

For me personally, it was a very large vanilla and apple pie sundae from Kopps’ Custard. I might have also gotten a burger and onion rings, but who’s counting.

There are a bunch of people who probably have opinions on comfort food and how we should/could/ought to pick healthier options, but if I’m going to be real — I wanted custard and that was all I was thinking about while going to that appointment, so if that’s what works for you, do it.

But maybe get one sundae and not five tubs of ice cream from the grocery store that you eat in one week.

#4 Go for the easy road

If someone offers to make this experience easier for you, let them.

When I went to get my referral for my hearing test from my primary care doctor (which I never once mentioned previously I had concerns with my hearing by the way) they had someone on staff that helped make those appointments.

I went to my primary care physician thinking I’d get the referral and then have to call the Audiologist myself, but when someone offered to do it for me? I accepted.

We joked a lot during that phone call that this way “I couldn’t back out, and forget to call.”

I think in their experience, having someone on staff that helps patients navigate specialist appointments helps us all not freak out and actually get the appointment scheduled.

So if you have the opportunity, let them schedule it for you, it’s worth it.

#5 Create space around the medical appointment

There are times and place to cram your life to the brim and hustle. The day of an appointment that you’ve been avoiding for months or years, is not one of them.

Create space around the appointment as much as possible.

Ask someone to baby sit the kids during the appointment and then for an hour or two after so you can have some time to process.

Ask for the full day off of work, not just the few hours it’ll take to get to the appointment, have the appointment, and then go back to work.

It really depends on your level of avoidance and emotional triggering around an appointment on exactly what amount of space you’ll shoot for, but for me personally I took the entire day.

My appointment was at 8AM and I had a slow morning, went to the appointment, drove to a park where I wrote this blog post and cried for an hour while I waited for Kopp’s Custard to open up, took a walk around the park, and then got that vanilla apple pie sundae and drove home.

Then I put on Kissing Booth 3 and at least one more chick flick before #batman arrived home early because he knew I was struggling.

We then laid on our bed googling “fancy hearing aids,” and talking about how everything is going to be okay because we’re in this together.

I was emotionally raw for at least three more days and every single time I thought about hearing aids I wanted to puke because I hadn’t hit that acceptance phase yet.

I technically haven’t gotten them yet, but my hearing aid consultation appointment is scheduled for two weeks from now and I’m at least a little closer to acceptance and more emotionally neutral than I was then.

For you, it might look different — maybe you get a massage or go out to dinner with your spouse instead of cooking that night. Maybe you just go straight to bed because the world is a little too grey for your eyeballs.

Whatever it looks like for you, just give yourself more space than you think you’ll need, you’ll be glad you have it.

#6 Notify your family members that it might be a high emotion day

You are not too much.

Not now, not ever. You are simply a human with feelings and needs and desires and hard days.

That being said, expectation management is a necessary thing for a healthy relationship.

Being honest with the people who live with you is important and letting them know if something is up in advance is important.

If you don’t want to actually talk about it, that’s fine too. Say something like, “Hey, I just wanted to let you know I might have more emotions than usual tomorrow. I’ve decided not to talk about it but wanted you to know in advance.”

I personally invited my husband to my google calendar medical appointment. This way, he knew the time it was at and the day so if I forgot to mention it that morning he was still aware without me having to put forth anymore energy than was necessary to manage my own self.

I definitely added a note in the description that was like “emotional day,” just to be clear and unapologetic about what my experience was likely going to be like.

#7 Lean in to your emotions and protect your emotional self

There are times when I think processing your emotions actively is a really healthy, amazing thing. It’s one of the reasons why I absolutely love the tapping solution app and use it at least 10-20x/month.

And there are times, like this, when I think passively letting your emotions flow and settle and just be what they are is really esssential too.

When you’re talking about a potential big life or health change it’s 100% okay to be sad about what a negative or less optimal test result means for your future life.

It’s okay to grieve your previous self. It’s okay to forgive your past self for putting this appointment off.

You cannot change the past, but you can grieve your present.

While you’re in this space, it’s absolutely necessary to protect your emotional self. This might mean that you don’t talk about your test results with anyone for 24 hours.

It might mean just you and your immediate family know. It might mean that you let your kids know that you’re sad, but you don’t tell them why just yet.

If you get positive or neutral results, it might mean holding that sacred too, while you let yourself breathe a breath of fresh air and relief.

You don’t have to rationalize whatever feels right to you. Your needs in that moment are yours alone and if someone doesn’t understand it, it’s okay to tell them, “hey, I know that you want to support me in this. The best way to do that is to give me some time to process it. I promise I will share with you when I’m ready — but please know that me not sharing doesn’t mean I love you any less.”

#8 Have a follow up plan

You’re going to have next steps. Those next steps might involve more appointments or sharing information with family members or researching certain devices/assistance/etc.

For me, it involved making a follow up hearing aid consultation appointment. I gave myself a week to process, but I knew I had to call and make the appointment that next Monday.

A follow up plan is helped my envisioning the type of person you want to be who is navigating this new situation/season.

I wanted to be the type of person who decided if she couldn’t control it, she’d own it.

I am a 34 year old with genetic early onset hearing loss and I cannot control that, but I can control getting hearing aids and owning that this is my story. I can connect with others who have a similar story.

I can find the coolest hearing aids on the planet and buy them. I can start living as the type of person who leans into hard things instead of avoiding them.

I can decide I’d rather be the girl crying over negative medical test results than the girl who refused to have the tests taken. I can decide I’d rather sit with the truth, even if it meant that it required a lot of me.

I can decide that the person I become having lived through this experience is the better version of me and I’d like to continue to choose being her.

And girlfriend, you can choose all of those things too. I promise. You can make the medical appointment even though it scares the pants off you.

You can sit with the medical test results, by yourself or with people who love you and celebrate them or grieve them.

You can look at your new future or season and decide that if you can’t control it, you’re going to own it.

You are not going to avoid it any longer, because now you have the tools to hold your emotional self close and help her find ways to do the hard things, because she knows you have her back.