In 2001, something bad happened to me. Something traumatic, life changing, life altering. I was in eighth grade; an innocent, barely interested in boys, totally quintessential “good girl,” in every way possible. New Years Eve of 2000, I went to sleep a trusting soul, when I woke up, I wouldn’t quite ever see the world the same again….

We strive for years and decades to prove to ourselves that we are stronger, more resilient, we are not victims. Yet if we continue to strive forever, we are not actually healing. We are pushing and proving and being all the things to all the people, but never the things we need in the deepest parts of ourselves. We need to be loved, to feel worthy, to accept, to forgive (ourselves the most), to believe, to trust, to honor the girl who experienced the traumatic event, but to let her go because she cannot be the girl we are in our most healed version of ourselves…

*warning: this is a potential traumatic trigger story written in the most gentle way possible